Chronicles
Beria
Present:
I am 16 years old and this is the first time I am seeing a dead body. I find myself sleepless, dehydrated, hopeless, and soaked with fear. I've never seen the city so empty. I mean, it’s crowded, but it’s lifeless.
The only sensation I'm experiencing is the smell of blood, sulfur, and smoke. I don’t know if there’s a heaven, but hell is definitely here.
Past:
It’s my 16th birthday. Our garden is full of relatives, friends from school, and a few kids I didn’t want to invite, but my mom made me do.
After blowing out the candles, I see my father carrying a shiny box with a yellow ribbon on top. “Happy birthday, little bunny!” I hear some boys giggling. I blush and thank him with a shy hug. “Thank you, dad!” Opening the box, my eyes shine bright just like that gift box. I take it out and hold in my hands a new pair of pink ballet shoes.
A couple of months ago, I was accepted to integrate the Kyiv Choreographic College. I would never have imagined that a girl from a small village in the east of Ukraine could go so far.
Future:
It’s my 18th birthday. I miss my relatives, my friends from school, and I wish I had been a better friend to those I didn’t want to invite for my previous party. My dad brings a blue box this time, without a ribbon on top. “Happy birthday, little bunny!” No one giggles. “Thanks, dad!”
I open the box and I see them: a pair of second-hand pink ballet shoes. Due to the rush of packing the essentials to leave Ukraine, I had to leave my ballet shoes behind.
I am living in a new country. I am finally safe. The war continues, and so does my dream.
Author's Note: This was a collab text written on a storytelling project using In Medias Res technique - when the narrative opens in the midst of the plot.
Challenges and Values
For about a year I have been interviewing many young people from different countries who are interested in participating in volunteering projects in Croatia. As I've attended many interviews, I know what it's like to be on the other side. Anxious, stuttering, with sweaty hands and wishing the end of those 30 minutes – which feels more like eternal suffering.
I've really improved my skills in interviewing people. I remember being nervous on the first day of interviews, even though I wasn't the one who was being evaluated but evaluating. Today I use ice-breaking techniques - learned and improved over years of dealing with interpersonal relationships and working with the public.
The interview firstly consists of introducing each other, in order to create a comfortable environment for both parties. Sometimes I ask about the weather – I know it sounds like elevator conversation, but asking something impersonal helps a lot to break the ice. Then I explain the project, its objective and methodologies, the roles of the volunteers, some financial and logistical details, and finally ask the candidates some questions.
Among the questions, there is one that I always get different answers to - as there are no right or wrong answers. This is usually the last question from the collection of questions:
𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦?
Candidates always take a deep breath before answering it. They ask for a bit of time to think. Sometimes they laugh when some specific situation comes up. They usually say: That's a really tough question!
But they always end up answering the question.
I've been asking this question for a year. I've been hearing different answers for a year. I have been thinking about this question for a year. For a year, I still don't have an answer to that question. And probably, I will never have it!
Life in short is a process. And as long as I am alive, I will always have challenges, which are hard to classify by degree. I can think that living far from my family, from my motherland, from what is familiar to me, facing professional, cultural and emotional situations are big challenges. And they really are. Every day I see myself challenged. Although, every day I see myself stronger.
We are shaped by challenges. Every challenge we overcome, we guarantee a new value. Like leveling up and unlocking skill in an RPG, so we can fight against stronger monsters – once seen as impossible to defeat.
Our values are what represents us.
𝘏𝘪, 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘉𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘶𝘦𝘴. 𝘕𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭!
However, as we are in constant process, we don't even know ourselves well. This because our values are always changing and adapting. I like to think that I am the best version of myself compared to what I was yesterday, but that I am still not as good as I will be tomorrow. A Greek philosopher called Heraclitus once said that no one can enter the same river twice, because when you enter it again the water is not the same. Everything flows and nothing remains.
Therefore, only when I die, the process will end and I will become a final product. And my values will remain forever. And those same values will define who I was. In the end, everyone will not only know me, but they will also know that all my challenges were overcome.
And for you, what is or what was the biggest challenge of your life?
Games Theory
Arthur and Daniel have been friends for a long time. When someone asks them how they met, they always respond in a different way. Sometimes they say they met at the Law school. None of them even studied Law. Sometimes they say they met at football matches that happen every Wednesday. However, Arthur doesn’t play football. Once they said they met when they were hostages in a bank robbery. Although no one, besides Arthur and Daniel, knows how they really met. Only one thing is known, they are inseparable.
Their discussions are always very absurd. Nobody knows how they start. They just start and end. An end where nothing ends. They usually end up having another round and start a new discussion.
- So man, I'm telling you, everything in life is a game – says a tipsy Arthur – We live on a big board game called life. And there is this thing that I learned in college called Game Theory...
- Please, don't start talking about computer games again! Last time everyone left just because of your shitty talk about GTA V – interrupts Daniel.
- No, man! I am serious now. Everything in life is a game. Where we are the players. And each player has their preferences and strategies for achieving their goals. I'm a player, you're a player, even that fellow over there sleeping on the table is a player... I think.
- OK! I'm listening. Everyone is a player, and what else? – asks an impatient Daniel.
- Imagine a card game. Each player has several cards at his disposal and must choose a card according to his preference. He can discard those cards which he thinks are not good for him. At some point in the game, one of the cards he chose will match the card that another player had chosen. Then the two players move to the next phase. In this second phase, the two players need to talk to each other in order to reach a consensus regarding their goals. Therefore, each player needs to adopt their own strategy. There will be times when the objectives won’t be achieved and they need to wait for a new match. Back to the second phase, the two players come to an understanding, and so they move on to a new phase together. In this new phase, the two players need to meet, adopting new strategies, in order to achieve the final goal and end the game – concludes Arthur, taking a sip of his beer.
- Wait a minute!!! Are you talking about Tinder ??? – asks Daniel.
- No man, it's just a card game ... Hey, my friend! Give us another round, please!
The Three Phrases
There are three phrases that can represent the supreme happiness: “I love you!”; “Your food is delicious!”; and “The party will be open bar!”. Well, maybe this is my lonely opinion. Although, I would like to invite you to join me in this mental trip. Starting with the following question: if hearing those three phrases separately causes a heartwarming situation, can the combination of them on the same night result in maximum prosperity?
It's a spring Saturday. You invite the person you are interested in to have dinner at your place. You choose your best recipe. Your specialty. To drink? You buy a good red wine. Maybe a wine from the Chilean winery Concha y Toro, or from the best Alentejo vintages. At the end of dinner, she says to you a sweet and harmonious “The dinner was wonderful, you cook very well!”. A silly smile from ear to ear appears on his face.
The person ends up receiving information about a party that will happen at that same night. She invites you to come with her. Then she says a phrase. A phrase that seems to have been forged by mythological gods: "And it will be an open bar party!". That sounds a call from the universe!
At the party, the music is lively. People agglomerate to get a drink, which is included in the price paid at the entrance. It is almost 3 am. You and she are dancing close to each other. Actually, very very close to each other. Aaaaaaand you finally kiss. The angels start chanting their hallelujahs.
Looking into her eyes, you say a resounding "I love you!". She just laughs. As her alcoholic mood is in tune with yours, she asks you to shut up, and gives you another kiss. A happy and complete night for everyone.
However, this whole event carries a paradisiacal aura, which escapes realistic perspectives, as if it were too good to be true. And it really is too good to be true! Now let's look at the events as they might realistically happen.
The whole scenario described above remains the same. You dance very closely. Angels with harps and butterflies in your stomachs vibrate with the first kiss. But the alcohol – which plays the role of the devil here – makes you verbalize the deepest feelings, which should be buried especially in the most drunken moments. Then you say, without thinking, without filter, with the greatest certainty in the world, “I love you!”.
Despite the loud music in the background, the silence is not just embarrassing, but also yelling. She doesn't have her eyes on you anymore. You try kissing her again. She turns her face away. She takes a step back, and says she needs to go to the bathroom. You feel lost. You still haven't processed everything that happened. Ten minutes have passed. She hasn't come back yet. Twenty. Nothing. Forty-five minutes. You can't deny it anymore. She left. A step larger than the leg ended the walk.
Not everyone is good with timing. We can even discuss it, but I think it is not the right moment...
Back to Normal?
It has been difficult to use the expression “we are back to normal”. The concept of normality which we knew ended up being transmuted into a new reality. We have changed our habits. As well as our perception about different social aspects. I still have so many questions, which I know will not be answered right away. I am aware that many people also have their own questions. And I believe that everyone will know the answers at the right time.
We are more and more concerned with hygiene as we have never been before. Perhaps some people will develop some sort of OCD. Alcohol gel will be part of people's lives. Furthermore, even our way of expressing affection with people has been changed.
Once, talking to a German friend and a French friend, I became aware that there are three types of people in the world: people who greet with hugs; people who greet with kisses – one, two, or even three –; and people who don't like to manifest physically any kind of affection.
In this way, I found out that Germans are people who like to hug. And they give very tight hugs to those people for whom they have great prestige. While the French are people who like to kiss. No wonder that the famous – and very formerly controversial – tongue kiss is called "French kiss". Perhaps the reputation of being romantic people arose from the practice of greeting each other with kisses.
I believe that from now on the third type of person will be more common to meet. There is likely to be a considerable decrease in physical contact. Embracing or kissing people when arriving at a certain place will be reduced, and replaced by a simple nod to everyone present at the place.
Twenty years ago, I envisioned 2020 as the year we would see flying cars. Robots with advanced artificial intelligence at our disposal. However, when 2020 finally arrives, all I see is people greeting each other with their elbows. There are even those who – to maintain a more geeky style – have adopted the Dr. Spock’s “Live long and prosper!” greeting.
If I had to choose a unique type of greeting, I would choose to greet with my feet as if it was a kind of Germanic dance. But the fact is, I couldn't replace the power of a good hug, and give up showing my affection to those whom I love. And what about you, are you a hugger, a kisser, both or none of them?
Does a question in Brazil set off an experience in Kosovo?
You are a disorganized teenager, not just your head is messy, but also your room. Every time your mother opens the door of your room, she expresses her astonishment with a reverberant “What is all this chaos in here?”.
You ask your friend about his Christmas in family, knowing that every year a relative starts a fight over money, land, comparing children, or just because that uncle of yours, who usually buys the cheapest beer, drinks all the other better beer. Your friend’s annual answer is: "You know… chaos, as always!"
You are no longer a disorganized teenager, now you have evolved. You have evolved into an adult disorganized in some things, but organized in others. On social media, it seems like everyone has reached fullness, and only you are staying behind. And in the midst of all the anxiety, a thought comes up: "My life is chaos!".
The word chaos is synonymous with something in a complete disorder and anarchy. What I don't want to deny here. But I am going to play a sort of devil’s advocate, in order to soften the understanding of the word regarding something exclusively negative.
The chaos theory is about complex and dynamic interdependent systems, in which any change in its initial conditions can present results very different from those initially expected, i.e., unpredictable.
I know, I know... you must be falling asleep with all this boring talk. Trust me, I have a point. And like everything in life, we need to go through a lot – I really mean a loooooot – of boring things with the promise of an achievement, am I right?
Well, chaos theory was the basis for the emergence of another theory: the Butterfly Effect. And I'm not referring to the movie starring Ashton Kutcher, which I'm not sure whether is a good movie, or I found it fascinating only because of my easily impressionable 14-years-old brain. Although, since I have already mentioned it, I am going to use it as an example. Kutcher's character has the power to go back in time and change some events. However, upon returning to his present, he notices that his whole life has changed. So, for changing a detail, an entire system ended up being compromised - echoing the chaos.
The maxim of the butterfly effect theory was immortalized from an article published in the early 1970s by the mathematician and meteorologist Edward Lorenz, whose title was: Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas? SPOILER ALERT: Of course not!
It was the year of 2017, I was working at an international relations office at a university in southern Brazil. One day, a student came to me with a question. "Bruno, could you tell me how a master's degree application in Portugal works?". And with all my knowledge acquired over those years, I answered: "I really don't know...". When I saw the disenchanted face on that person in front of me, I continued: “But I can search for it, and then tell you afterward, okay?”.
As I am a person who takes a word given very seriously - just like the job I had - I started my research. First of all, I was surprised that the application criteria were not so complicated. They just asked for this, this, and that. "Interesting... very interesting!", I thought. Secondly, an idea came up to my mind: “What if I apply too?”.
I had some plans for that year: either to do a master's degree at the university in my city, or to live in another city or in another Brazilian state. Living abroad was not in my plans. Honestly, it didn't even cross my mind. It was just someone coming to me with a simple question - the trigger to change the initial conditions - that the whole system I had planned changed - the beginning of chaos.
I was approved for the master's degree. I moved to Portugal in that same year. I started a new life. From then on, my new system was to accomplish all the semesters in Portugal, get a job to pay my subsidies, and then return to Brazil with a diploma.
Although, an Erasmus opportunity in another country arose. And I applied - one more change. Once selected, I had a new destiny country: Tunisia. Once again chaos was by my side.
It turns out that my colleagues intervened. they feared that I would go there, due to post-Arab Spring events. They even requested mediation to the professor responsible for the Erasmus programs. "Professor, don't let Bruno go to Tunisia, the situation is very complicated there!" So, the professor comes to me and proposes: "There is a vacancy for Kosovo, would you like to go there?" My system was once again compromised because of a question. And once again chaos took over.
Imagine if a time traveler came me in 2017, and said: “Within six months you will be living in Kosovo, and it will be one of the most incredible experiences of your life!”. I would think he was completely insane ... hearing that he came from the future would be more than enough to realize that.
In short, we cannot always control the systems we plan. It is possible that some factors are altered in the middle of the decision-making process, and this sensitivity may create results that we did not even imagine were possible. Each factor, whether positive or negative, is responsible for putting us in the system we are in today. Take a breath! Live the moment! Live the chaos!
P.S.: You must be wondering if I informed the student about the application in Portugal, right? Yes, I did! I just don't remember who he was. But I am forever grateful to him for becoming my agent of chaos.
A Dutch Tale
This story happened in 2014 in Utrecht, Netherlands. How do I know that? Well, I was there, and I could testify that it really happened. So please trust in this amateur storyteller.
Lili was married to Michiel since 2006. I was at their wedding, and what I can say about that is: it was the funniest wedding party I’ve ever been so far. In 2014 Lili and their 8-years old son went to Brazil to visit her family and friends. She was the first person in her family who lived abroad and experienced how tough it is to be away from home. Every time she came to visit her family it was such a festive period. Her nephews and nieces were amazed at all the stories she brought from Europe to tell. Most of the family started supporting the Netherlands – after Brazil obviously – in the World Cup.
The trip was nearing its end. It was time to come back to the Netherlands. Lili’s heart was fulfilled again; family and long-dated friends were the battery she needed. But she also missed her husband, her cozy house, and Netherlands – even though she knew that in there it rains a lot in the autumn. She went to a famous Brazilian perfume store to buy her husband a souvenir. By the perfume’s fragrance, she presumed that Michiel would love it. And asked the store attendant to gift wrap it.
Michiel went to the Schiphol, in Amsterdam, to pick Lili and Alan up, and drove them back to Utrecht. They looked very tired because of the over 12 hours of flight. On the way back, they talked about the trip to Brazil, fun facts and stories about her family, and Michiel’s trip to Berlin.
Once back home, Lili left her suitcase in their room, and took just the perfume that she had bought to Michiel, and headed up to the living room afterward, where he was.
- What is that? – He asked in a fluent Portuguese.
- Een cadeautje! – She responded in a perfect Dutch.
- Obaaaaa![1]
When Michiel finished unwrapping the gift, he started laughing out loud. So much!
- What are you laughing at? – Lili asked him.
- Do you know what Zaad means? – He asked, pointing to the name of the perfume.
- No, what does it mean?
- Zaad means “semen” in Dutch. – He replied her followed by more and more laughs.
- Really? – She had an astonished face – Oh God! I should have known this before buying it. – She looked really upset with the situation.
- It is okay, baby! – Said Michiel, trying to comfort her – I loved the perfume, it smells very very well! Don’t you worry about it!
- That is not the problem – She said looking at him in the eyes – The problem is that I bought the same perfume to your father…
[1] Oba is a Brazilian Portuguese interjection that can be literally translated to “Yay”.
The Chapter One
It was already night. In fact, it was late at night. Moving her head out from his shoulder, and trying to reach out his eyes, she asks:
- How would you describe me as a character in your stories?
He turns to her, making their eyes meet at last. That question took him by surprise. He takes a deep breath – which can be translated as 'I need this quick moment to think' –, and responds:
- Well, I would have to introduce you first, so that readers can get an idea of whom you are.
Then he goes: “She has a soft voice. It is not a low voice or even a high-pitched voice. From her voice, scientists could come to an understanding of an ideal decibel, the perfect combination of harmony and timbre. She also has a shy laugh, which, like her voice, it is not so much prominent. Although, her laughter is usually followed by eye contact. And this is what is most special about her: she is one of those people who smile with the eyes.
She is very intelligent. It's amazing how much she knows about different topics. You can talk about anything, and there she will be, giving you a lesson and making you think...”
- Hey! I'm not as intelligent as you think I am – she interrupts – I don't know how to talk about sports or politics, for example.
- You are more intelligent than you think you are – he replies smiling – Believe me! And besides that, I haven't finished that part yet.
“Her intelligence goes beyond cognition, analytical learning, and general knowledge. And when I say that, I mean her emotional intelligence. She has an admirable way of caring about other people. She has such a great sense of empathy and justice.
She is very outgoing. She can socialize very easily. She has a gift of making people laugh. Even the way she tells the most silly and predictable jokes makes them extremely funny. However, sometimes she sees the need to have her own space. This allows her to better organize her ideas and personal projects.
She is a natural-born observer. She can see solutions to problems, whether simple or complex, surprisingly fast. But she is also quite critical of herself. Everything she does, she does with an exacerbated perfectionism.”
- That's true. I won't deny it. – she says laughing – Continue, please!
“When she sees that she is right about a certain subject, she goes all the way to show that she is really right. But she has the humility to assume her mistakes when she is mistaken.
I have a great admiration for whom she is. Because of all the values I pointed out. She has been the example of the person I feel inspired for. I learn every day from her. And every time I look at her, I see how fortunate I am to have her by my side.”
With the eyes full of tears, and without saying anything, she gives him a very tight hug. When he embraces her with the same intensity, he feels some of her tears falling on his shoulder. She loosens the embrace and kisses him. Then, already recomposed, she says:
- Once you entered the story, I think you should introduce yourself to the readers too.
- I can not do this! It would be too pretentious of me. What I presented is how I see you. It would be fair if you describe me in the next chapter.
- But why me? – she asks.
- Because this is the only story I cannot write on my own.
A day directed by M. Night Shyamalan
Zagreb, Saturday, March 21, 2020. The Croatian government had announced that the country would enter a blockade situation due to the threat of the new coronavirus. Anxiety washed over me, and with it, a series of questions arose. What opens? What closes? What if I get sick? Do I have enough toilet paper? So, I decided to make the biggest purchase I hadn't made in years.
At night, I decided to spend a considerable time in the kitchen, preparing dinner, while listening to music in the company of a glass of wine – which has been my personal anxiety control therapy. I finished eating, did the dishes, talked to family and friends, watched a movie on Netflix, and finally went to bed. I was in a really good mood. So I fell asleep. I fell asleep just with the daily worries over the pandemic.
The next day, around 6:30 am, I felt my bed moving in a very weird way. When I opened my eyes to understand what was going on, I saw my entire room in a huge turbulence. My stuff were falling down from the top shelf and meeting the floor. I stood up very quickly. I was in my underwear, and holding the blanked on my chest, just like a kid who just had a nightmare, and was heading to the parents’ room to feel safe again.
In the beginning, I couldn’t process what was happening, I tried to scream a “Fuuuuuck!!!”, in order to expel all that shock. But I couldn’t, the word was stuck on my throat, it seemed that I was having a kind of lucid sleep paralysis. I knocked on my flatmate’s door. “Madalena, Madalena?”. “What?”. “Did you feel the earthquake?”. Of course she felt it. The magnitude was more than 5.0. People from Chile or Southeast Asia would be laughing at me now.
I went to the living room. I was already dressed up and caught myself staring all the movement and the people scared alike outside. At that moment Covid-19 was not the main concern for those people. I decided to stay inside though. I was trying to relax, while I was checking out my friends from Zagreb. Fortunately, everyone was fine, despite the huge scare.
I felt Mother Nature’s call and went to the bathroom. I was feeling more relieved – in every possible way. Still sitting on the toilet, I was digesting what I just had gone through. Suddenly, I felt another quake. I started cleaning me up quickly. Thanks God I had enough toilet paper. My thought was: “Dying because of the earthquake is the least of my problems. My main problem is being found on the toilet with the pants down!”.
I headed to my room, put on the first coat I saw, took my keys, and left the building with a pair of sneakers in my hand. It was very cold outside. Even so, there were many people on the street – equally frightened. Then, I felt the third quake. Although I was fine with that, because I was out of the apartment... and away from people and buildings. Everything had become a mortal threat.
Remember when I said it was cold outside? In fact, it was freezing. Then it started snowing... right at the beginning of spring. Now I have a crazy pandemic out there, buildings that can fall on my head, and favorable freezing weather to catch a flu or pneumonia. Everything seemed so perfect!
Then I got a message from an Italian friend, who was living in a hostel in Zagreb, and couldn’t return to her country because the borders were closed. She was also quite frightened by the whole situation – obviously. We decided to meet up on the way between the hostel and my flat. When we met up, both of us were walking on the tram line – once trams were not circulating –, being very careful to not be closer to the buildings. “Oh my God! It was very scary!”, she said in a charming Italian accent. I couldn't agree more.
It was around 8:30am. We were going to the hostel. Since none of us had had breakfast – for obvious reasons –, we prepared a tea, grabbed a Maria biscuit package, and left the building, because the radio was saying that there would be another quake. Stronger than the previous ones. We all were on a huge alert, and waiting for the worst. But guess what: nothing happened.
In order to distract us from our concerns about pandemics and earthquakes, we decided to watch anything. She suggested a new reality show. And I really hate reality shows! However, after a day like that, I needed to watch anything that could free me from that dystopian reality. Then, a reality show became my Matrix to overcome the worst plot since The Happening. And only God knows how much I hated The Happening.
The Terminal
It is 17th April 2020, I don’t know which quarantine day it is, but I know by heart the number of plates, mugs, and glasses that I have in the kitchen (18, 10 and 29 respectively). I feel like Edmond Dantès on The Count of Monte Cristo, when, in prison, he tells the priest that he had counted the stones in the wall (72,519 in total, counted many times according to him), and the priest asks him: “But have you named them yet?”. Maybe I [Bruno] have, considering the fact that I spend a lot of time with them.
Maybe I feel more like Tom Hanks on The Terminal. I left my homeland with a huge purpose, but I cannot leave “the terminal” to enjoy the new destiny. Like Viktor (Tom Hanks’ character) I have taken this moment to make the self-isolation more and more comfortable for me. I heard one day that people from Scandinavian countries, in order to spend the intense winter indoor, arrange their houses the coziest way possible, and create their own strategies to go through that. So I did the same.
Starting from the fact that I wear pajamas all the time – I cannot imagine anything more comfortable than that. In addition, tea has become my favorite drink and company. Since I stopped drinking coffee – or any other beverage that contains caffeine – I feel more relaxed. Now everything is an excuse to have a tea. “Okay, it’s work time… but first… an apricot tea.”. “It’s time to go to bed now… but before that, a chamomile tea would be nice”. “It’s a bit colder today… I need to put more clothes on… aaand to prepare a mint tea”.
I brought the desk from my room to the living room, setting up, thereby, my own workspace, near to a window that gets sunlight all day long – Vitamin D in days like these is fundamental. Besides the plates, the mugs, and the glasses, spending more time with my thoughts has given me good insights to work on. I have learned new stuff and improved my skills to contribute more and more to the projects, visibility, and goals of the organization where I work. Apart from that, I have spent a lot of time in the kitchen trying new recipes – some worked, others not that much. At least I learned the art of baking a banana cake.
Self-isolation is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever gone through indeed, although I don’t feel as lonely as I thought I would. This change in the social model we were used to – which was sometimes a bit overloaded – has been good for making me keep in touch more often with my family, with my friends, and, especially, with myself. In this way, we can plan together what is and will be better for us as individuals, for us as a society, for our future, and for the environment.
P.S.: While I was writing this text, I was drinking a lemon tea.
Young mystics and where to find them (where they live)
I lived in a small town inland of Portugal. At that time I was working like a horse at the low part of a mountain. It took only four kilometers from my home to the workplace, and the other four kilometers from there back home. Every day was the same. Up the hill, down the hill. My shift finished at 1 pm. To get back to the city, I had to walk through a kind of forest. Without any street lighting. All I had was the flashlight of my mobile.
One day I was invited to a party in a student republic. Most of the people at the party were Brazilian, who also lived and studied in the same city. And since getting from work to the city was generally faster, I managed to get there before 2 am.
The house was packed. I met many known people, but I was happier to see that my close friends were there too. Everyone was having a good time, and I no longer felt the fatigue of another work night. I needed to go out, I needed to have fun, and I needed to see my friends, since my work hours were in conflict with any social event.
The party was going well. It was almost dawn. Many people were gone. However, there were still some more resistant ones. Such as my friend Pedro and me. And since we were already there for a long time, Pedro expressed his desire to leave. Although we stayed a bit more. We were talking about rather banal topics, almost on an automatic mode. Actually, I don't remember what we were talking about. All I remember was seeing this girl coming up to us from the other side of the room.
- I want you to leave now! – She said.
- We were about to go. Let's go! – A very tired Pedro agreed with the girl's invitation.
- Wait a minute! What do you mean? What did we do to be kicked out? – I replied.
- I just want you to go away! This is my home, I live here, and I don't want you here! –She replied energetically.
- But I just want to know the reason. Did we say or do anything that would have offended someone? – I asked calmly.
- No, I just want you to get out of here! – She replied a bit less energetically, even though she was still very energetic.
- I am sorry, just give me a reason, because it doesn't seem fair to kick someone out for no reason. You can even call the police if you want.
At this moment, a guy whom I knew heard the situation, approached and asked:
- Guys, what's going on here?
- Nothing! I just want them to get out of here! – Repeated the girl.
He took a deep breath, and, looking like an intermediary for two litigious parties, says:
- Bruno, I really think you better go.
So, I accepted the suggestion that had been discussed for more than half an hour. And we headed to the exit of the house.
In the hall Pedro asked me:
- Man, what did just happen?
I responded that I had no idea, and we recapitulated the whole situation from the beginning. We were unable to come to any understanding of what had happened.
Suddenly, the door of one of the rooms opens, and a girl appears at it with the face of someone who has just woken up. Or who was hangover. Or both. Then she asks:
- Hey guys, what's going on? Who did kick you out?
I explained the entire situation to her. And when I repeated the phrase that contained the word “police”, she looked startled:
- No, we don't need to involve the police in this! I will talk to her to find out what really happened. Because you said you didn't speak or did anything offensive.
Pedro and I stared at each other, we shrugged simultaneously and waited. We heard someone arguing loudly in the other room. And five minutes later the two girls return. Still calm, I asked again:
- We just want to know why we were kicked out and why only us, and no one else?
Then the girl, the kicking out agent, replied:
- I'm really sorry. I just felt a bad energy coming from you. That's why I wanted you to go away.
So, at long last, we left the house. And from that event, I decided to go to parties only when my energy is good, so as not to risk being kicked out again.
P.S.: A few days later I found out that the girl did not live in the house.
Madonna Mia!
I love music. I really do. But who doesn’t? I like to listen to melancholic songs when I am upset. I listen to heavy metal when I feel very energetic and enthusiastic. Every time
I am cooking, I choose any dancing playlist – handling the pans as I was a DJ.
By the way, people usually ask me if the headphone tattooed on my wrist means that I am a DJ or something like that, or if it’s one of those fake tattoos you can find in a bubble gum package.
If you see me walking down the street, I will be always with my earphones – ALWAYS. Whether you see me serious, and moving my fingers as if I was playing an invisible guitar, it’s because I am listening to music. Whether you see me laughing in a very stupid way or with a weird smile on my face – like when a kid farts – you bet I am listening to a podcast.
Studies show that music can improve our cognitive processes, helping us to retain information, to make decisions, to keep us focused, and to execute better tasks. Apart from that, what amazed me the most is not the effect that music has on us, or how music can match our different moods – and even switch them. But how some composers can trick our minds, making us sing some weird lyrics without noticing.
I have already heard one of the most famous hits by The Police, “Every Breath You Take”, being played in a wedding ceremony. Well, it is not properly a good choice for a love song. Because a guy who watches – try reading it without singing – every breath you take, every move you make, every step you take is a complete psycho.
In the movie Reservoir Dogs, Mr. Brown – played by Quentin Tarantino – is presenting to the other guys his theory about the hidden message behind the lyrics of Like a Virgin from Madonna. While one of the guys says the song is about a very vulnerable girl who, after some bad relationships, meets a nice guy who treats her well, Mr. Brown says that the song is about a nymphomaniac girl who felt like a virgin again after meeting a well-endowed guy.
I remember the day when I was with a friend at a bar in Kosovo, and she was telling me the wild sexual life she had with her ex-boyfriend – why she was telling me that? I still wonder. At this moment a random previous song finishes, and suddenly Like a Virgin starts playing, taking over the place. Good timing!
When I was visiting a couple of friends in Portugal – it was the day we call the Storm Day –, I was in the kitchen helping my friend to prepare the dinner. We were listening to their 80s and 90s playlist, and at a certain moment another Madonna’s hit starts playing: Like a Prayer. While smashing sweet potatoes to prepare a delicious gnocchi, my friend turned to me asking: “Do you know this song is about blowjob, don’t you?”. I stopped cutting an onion, and stared at her: “Sorry?”. She continued: “Yes, you heard it right: blowjob! Pay attention to the lyrics!”.
So I did paid attention. I was shocked. It seemed like I was seeing someone naked in a very embarrassing situation, the kind of nudity you were not prepared to look at. The chorus and its sentences – “I'm down on my knees, “I can feel your power”, and “you know I'll take you there” – were echoing the dissolution of my innocence.